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Are you in The Friendship Dip years?
According to this piece, I am in the Friendship Dip years (I’m in my mid-40s). Research from the Pew Center found that 49% of adults 65+ say they have five or more close friends. That number drops to 34% for those 30-49 and 32% of those younger than 30.
When I reflect on the activities in my life that make me happiest, catching up with close friends is towards the top. So I have a little ritual - every Monday, I look ahead to the week that is, and if I don’t have any friend catch-ups planned, I send out a few messages to book one or more in. Sounds simple, but it makes a big difference to my happiness and having fun things to look forward to.
Want to have better conversations? Create more doorknobs.
If you’re trying to cultivate better and deeper friendships, conversation is key. I loved what Sahil Bloom wrote about questions and doorknobs:
Most questions are like a stop sign. They invite an answer that naturally ends the conversation.
Doorknobs are questions or statements that invite the other person to open them and walk through. They invite the other person to start telling a story.
Question: Where did you get married?Doorknob: How did you decide on the wedding venue?
The question will more likely than not lead to a conversation stop when the person responds with a location. The doorknob will more likely than not lead to a story.
Three tips on how to be a better writer
I spent much of last week locked in a recording studio to record the audiobook version of The Health Habit. It’s an exhausting but interesting experience, reading every single word of the book I have poured so much of myself (and my time) into writing this year. And when I watched this clip from one of my favourite writers, Dan Pink, about three tips for being a better writer, tip #2 rang very true. Read your work out loud.
The Health Habit is available for pre-order!
Discover personalised strategies and science-backed solutions for improving your sleep, fitness, and nutrition. Pre-order your copy today. And a big thank you to the hundreds of you who have already pre-ordered a copy - love you lots :)
Cheers
DR AMANTHA IMBER IS AN ORGANISATIONAL PSYCHOLOGIST AND FOUNDER OF BEHAVIOURAL SCIENCE CONSULTANCY INVENTIUM.
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