It’s time to pay people to criticise you

We all know that feedback helps us grow. And receiving constructive or negative – not positive – feedback is what helps us grow the most. But here’s the problem: many people shy away from giving negative feedback. We worry about hurting the other person’s feelings, or perhaps we assume that the thing we want to provide feedback on is ‘no big deal’, so we forget about it and move on.

Perhaps you have participated in a training program on how to give feedback more effectively. I’ve been through several, none of which were helpful. And as a people-pleaser myself, the training did not make it easier for me to deliver feedback that I knew would be hard for the other person to hear. So what’s the solution?

As one of the world’s leading close-up magicians, performance feedback is critical to Simon Coronel. But Coronel is not your typical entertainer. He originally worked as an IT consultant for consulting firm Accenture and studied psychology at university. As a result, he thinks a lot about human psychology when trying to refine his own performance.

One of the keys to a great magic trick is an audience’s inability to work out how it was achieved. When Coronel tests a new illusion, he used to ask people if they could figure out the mechanics behind it. But audience members would err on the side of politeness and say they had no idea, even if they had a few.

To break through the politeness, Coronel started asking, ‘If I offered you a million dollars to guess how this trick was done, what would you say?’ He found that asking audience members this question invited them to reveal whatever was on their mind (even though they were dubious that Coronel had one million dollars to hand over to them). However, this question proved to be a useful one for a magician because if your audience can come up with something, it means that the trick is just that little bit less amazing, so Coronel could then work on improving it.

In his pursuit of feedback, and particularly of the critical variety, he took things a step further.

‘I actually started getting out a little stack of dollar coins and setting them up on a table in the foyer of the theatre. I would say to people after the show, “I’ll give you a dollar for every criticism you can make about the show. Every bad thing you can think of in any way and on any level.” I was basically willing to pay for negative feedback. That’s how much I actually wanted the constructive criticism.’

Coronel would ask people if there was anything that was weird about the show. Anything that was distracting. And if there was anything that was offensive, or that didn’t make sense?

‘I once received feedback that someone was distracted because my shoes weren’t polished. And something like that matters just as much as the magic because everything in the show is part of the show. And it’s the same in any business or with any product. Everything is part of the overall experience the person has when they engage with you or your business or your service.’

Put it into action

1. The next time you really want constructive feedback, consider paying people or offering them a gift. For example, you could offer to shout someone a coffee if they give you three bits of constructive feedback.

2. Where possible, ask for feedback as soon as they have engaged with what you are seeking feedback on. For example, if you want a critique of a presentation you delivered, ask for the feedback immediately afterwards. And, of course, extend the invitation for people to reach back out with any additional negative feedback if more comes to mind.

The next time you are looking for a critique, be willing to make it worth someone's while. Offer an incentive for honest feedback, ask immediately after the experience, and keep an open mind. The results may hurt, but you'll uncover weaknesses that polite platitudes never would. A little short-term pain for long-term gain - those dollar coins will be the best investment you ever make.