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If you are NOT okay today, this tool might help.

4 December 2024

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Sunday afternoon was FULL ON.

My daughter had returned from a slumber party. She had 5 hours' sleep.

It didn’t take a clairvoyant to predict that a challenging afternoon was on the cards.

Emotional disregulation doesn’t just impact sleep-deprived 10-year-olds. It happens to us all.

Ever felt like your emotions went from 0 to 100 faster than a Tesla on ludicrous mode, leaving your rational thinking in the dust?

Yep - me too.

It's called: amygdala hijacking. This fancy term, coined by psychologist Daniel Goleman, is your brain's way of saying, "Logic? Nope. Never heard of her." You know you've been hijacked when your feelings are in the driver's seat, and your calm, collected self is tied up in the trunk, wondering what on earth just happened.

One of the most effective things we can do to help regulate our emotions is noticing and naming the emotion we are feeling. Which sounds easy. But in practice, many adults (not to mention most kids), can have trouble doing this.

If that sounds like you, try the Feelings Wheel. It’s a tool designed to help individuals identify and understand their emotions. My partner is a huge fan of the wheel (indeed - it's been brought out many times in our household).

What I love about it is that It’s great for honing in on the specific emotion you are feeling when words fail us. And when we can name the emotion we are feeling, we not only gain insight, but we also create distance between the emotion and our response (the first step in bringing back rational thought).

So if you are not OK today, I hope that noticing and naming what you are feeling is one step in the right direction of having a better day.

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Cheers

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DR AMANTHA IMBER IS AN ORGANISATIONAL PSYCHOLOGIST AND FOUNDER OF BEHAVIOURAL SCIENCE CONSULTANCY INVENTIUM.

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